Weathered the Storm

I have had a long time between posts! Been weathering different storms - mostly just change related - however last night was a real storm- spent the night watching radar for tornados from Hurricane Helene What a scary night- thankful we were not in the danger zone - mostly wind and tree debris.

The changes I am weathering in my life is entering retirement! I turn the big 65 soon and made my decision in February to retire from my 18 years serving those in the dementia care community at Memory Matters. I have grown, learned, and gone through many changes these last 18 years. I have come to the conclusion that change is just like any season - it has to come - time demands it- it will require new things - both physical and emotional -and God is in control. Just like seasons! This will be a very new one for me - so will be documenting as I enter the end of one season and on ot the next. 

 I said to my Best Friend Lee at the begining of my decision -" I don"t know who I will be" - "my identity has been tied to this title for so long. My knowledge of dementia care goes so deep -how do I move to the next stage? "She said you are you - that won't change.Love her calm insight!  I get it now - I will still be the same Cathee -searching and learning, encouraging those around me and friendships are always there if you work at them! 

SO basically I AM STILL ME! hopeful I will fill these pages with my new adventure as ME! and see what comes next.

Moon dreams

 

Heading in to spring

 It has been a very mild winter here on the island, and I have taken advantage of the cool weather in the mornings to head out for my walk. I have also started on my class  wanderlust. Below my photo are two pages from the lesson. There are many more to come, I relish the time I can sit and learn from the amazing teachers that Kasia provides.  More to come!!!!!

I am back on track

 It has been quite a few years of hit and miss as I create. I am determined this year to stay on track. 

Have joined several art classes. And will post my progress. Fun stuff!

Pages from the journal this year 2023

 New things and new ideaz have been popping up since I started courses in Wanderlust 2023- below are some journal pages.

Reflections

Looking forward to an amazing year of life- my goals are simple , my word for the year is Be  Still- which will require me looking at the reflection of myself in the moment and figuring out what is the next best thing to be or do.   I am learning to stand in one place and slowly take it in, with out rushing to a conclusion. To do my best, be my best and Let God be God!

 Learning is the right word to place in this brief essay of my goals. Above is a perfect picture from my morning walk to display the reflection of the beauty around me in the peace of still water - May I be reminded throughout the year of this stillness from God.

My Magnificent Mountain - rearview

  Been awhile since I even thought about my blog, I forgot why I love blogging so much, it is a diary of days or months for me- I can go back and review my minds history of ideas, creativitiy, life moments good and bad. I am in the midst of change right now. Not sure why, but I presume it has to do with turning 63- or I should say politely-over 60. The good things first.  I truly am living in my God given purpose- supported by amazing husband, friends and family- my faith is strong tho tested, my goals remain strong and clear ( helping those who are struggling with memory loss, and the ones that care for and love them).  My super empath heart wants to make life better for the families I serve. It is my joy.

 Now the hard things... At this time, my biggest battle is ...my own resilence is gone.  I am overwhelmed, I feel like I have lost more battles than won. I am trying to define myself in a new structure, new sphere of life, trying to make the days I have lived count, trying to  make new days count as well.  Grief keeps showing up everywhere and made larger by my thought life. SO,  here I am July 17, 2022 pouring it out,  a record of my thoughts. It will get better, I know, but in this moment I want to learn what these testings have accomplished, where are they taking me. so I write.  This is a recourd of that path.

 Small insight today:

When you are on top of the mountain that  you have climbed so dilgently, having come through struggles along the way, you think wonderful now I can rest! Then you see the many other peaks along the ridges ahead to be accomplished. You have done it before you can do it again. With great perserverance you head down to the valley for a stroll  to another  new climb - only you get one obstacle, one delay, one turn gone worng after another and you realise you have to do it all over again.  However, before you can even begin to climb again you must camp out on the ridge for awhile, get used to the air, breathe,make a plan, get up, move slow.  THAT is where I am, soul weary and in need of a rest.

Whats helping today:

 Reading a wonderful book called Fractured Faith  by Lina  Abujamra- slowly digesting it- making it part of my  daily intake. Some days I go back and stare at " my magnificent mountain" I was on top of and remember things in the rear view mirror are not always whet they seem. GOD is here with me, not there, He got me there,  He led me here. He is Walking slowly in front of me, catching my face when I turn around and saying to my heart - look at me chld - follow me- eyes on me. Today we go forward.